There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and she was petting her beer can
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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