Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
