Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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