Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize