I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
