Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
