It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
