Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
