Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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