sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
