omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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