11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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