i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
