I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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