he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
In America we eat man semen.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
