Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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