no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
