am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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