May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i barfeds in our rink
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You're like the curious george of whores
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
