I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think my mom watched the whole time
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just had sex on a roof
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
