HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
