you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
