Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
