i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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