I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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