girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
