Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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