I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
