You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
