dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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