I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
