Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Shame - the story of my life.
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