Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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