when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
