We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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