Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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