We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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