My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize