I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
