i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
