found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
