just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
