I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
