He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
