I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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