My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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