Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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