fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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