he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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