Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
