You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize