You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ttyl tear gas
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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