I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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