just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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