I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
