if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
