just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
