It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
