And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
