I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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