well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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