Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
