I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
